Life Set to (His) Words...
About four weeks ago, I asked my husband if he would add his words here about once a month. I have long been a fan of my husband's written word and I loved the idea of having his voice and his point of view contribute to this space that I do so love. I wanted so badly to open up the definitions and roles of fathers everywhere by giving the father of my children and voice in this big 'ole world. After some initial hesitation {and some encouraging by me}, he agreed. We thought that Father's Day would be the absolute best time to begin our new feature. So today, on this very special day, I am so excited to introduce you to the most wonderful man I know...my husband, Brent!
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Three Girls?!?!
by Brent {known around here as Dadddy}
That is exactly the reaction I hear most from people when our family is out in public. And every time it surprises me a little bit more. The comments from older men do not surprise me that much, I guess. I am not so naive to believe that as our girls enter teenage years that home life will certainly become more difficult. Many fathers still have recurring nightmares about those times. However, we are cherishing our somewhat simple day to day routines at this early stage of parenthood. I, personally, am in no hurry to get to the latter years. The sound of a one year old yelling Daddy the second she hears you come in the door (or even back into the room you just left) makes one not want time to move one more minute ahead. Having either one of our older girls ask a simple question yielding such a simple answer, but looking at you like you are the most brilliant man in the world. Beautiful moments.
Which, again, makes me wonder how so many strangers look at me with pity to have three precious daughters. Usually, I find out that these same people have one or more daughters of their own. Do they forget those moments with their daughters? Or, worse yet, did they not have them? I would rather believe they somehow forgot. However, I know quite a few men who look right past the present to the future. I have learned that when you are preoccupied with thoughts of work, money, house repairs, etc. that you can miss some really great moments. Moments that alone can make those other worries go away. Often, I have been sitting on a chair in our driveway after work thinking about various tidbits of my day that felt like total day crashers at the time, only to look to my side and see one of our daughters looking at me with a crooked smile seemingly saying "Come on, I'm here. How bad can it be?" And you know what, I haven't found anything that is that bad. Just another reason to be thankful for those little girls.
So, I guess if I am trying to say one thing it is that I feel being a father to three girls is what you make of it. I do not do everything right and I make choices with outcomes unbecoming of the world's greatest dad (I do want the t-shirt). But, I do think what you get out of things is proportional to what you put in. Example, last year I decided I really wanted to shift the whole families nighttime schedule just so I could meet some friends at the local drag strip on a Friday night. My wife agreed (she's great like that) and we quickly bathed the girls so I could go. I never miss bedtime if I can help it. So, a couple hours later in the midst of tire smoke, alcohol-fueled exhaust fumes and car guy banter, a friend was talking to a group of us about how he just advanced to the next level of competition for that night and if we had any suggestions on how he might progress his car further. As we are all talking, my mind quickly flashed back to earlier that evening to bath time. Our oldest daughter had made us about split our sides laughing at a song and dance she performed, naked, before she got into the bathtub. It was probably about ten seconds later that I remembered I was standing with about eight guys in the pits of a drag strip. They were looking at me, oddly, as I would have been, too. All I could say was that I was thinking about something else as I re-entered the conversation. I can't remember how the rest of that night went, but I do remember how my initial feeling of embarrassment quickly turned to content. I was just happy to have been in the moment enough that night at bath time to witness our daughter's "dance."
Which makes me wonder about that same friend from the races that night who has two daughters himself. I know for a fact that he rarely puts them to bed or is part of bath time festivities. So, twenty years from now, I wonder if he is going to be one that is quick to pity the man walking through the grocery store with multiple daughters in tow or will he see that man as someone that God has blessed multiple times over.
