Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Parenting Mantra...

I do not share parenting advice here. First of all, each individual child is so completely different as is each parent's specific situation and schedule that telling anyone what would/would not work as far as raising their children go would be ludicrous. Also, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. It is trial and error each and every day. One day I'll go and think to myself "wow, I really have it together...three kids, no sweat." The very next day I will be thinking "holy shamokin, how did I get this many kids and why do they not come with manuals???"

So, with that being said, I will share with you the best parenting advice I have EVER received. I apologize for not remembering where I read it, but when I did, it completely changed my outlook on my kids, my parenting, and our dynamic. It has since become my mantra. I think the words to myself so many times each day and they re-focus my thoughts and re-direct my actions. Ready?
Your kids just want you to be happy.
They do not care if they're doing an appropriate amount of crafts or learning exercises. They don't care whether or not you are encouraging the right balance between caring and confidence, selflessness and self esteem, happiness and humbleness. They do not care if they are being socialized enough or too much. They care that you are happy: with them, with yourself, with your family, and with your life.
Since reading this, I have virtually felt its significance and truth in my experiences with my girls. I can see our whole day turn around with the change of my attitude. I cannot promise that the same holds true with older kids {as I only have wee ones} but I can think back to my own young adulthood and I can palpably feel how much those words would have rung true back then as well. I did want, very much, for my parents to be happy. I think that happy {truly happy...not just pretending "for the kid's sake" and really hating their life} parents make for happy kids and a happy family.
And by saying this I do not mean in any way to imply that your children should never see you upset. This, I think, is just as important: for them to see you get upset, deal with your emotions, and bounce back from the particular hardship. But now we're getting even too deep into this discussion. The message is simple. I don't know what it will mean to you and your parenting experience. I simply know that it changed my world. It is my mantra.


Amy November 1, 2009 at 3:49 PM  

I love this, thank you so much for sharing! I truly believe that a mother's (or father's/parent's) attitude is so important in how each and every day goes with children. It is something I constantly have to remind myself, like you said, some days are much easier--or smoother--than others. Have a great day!